Mintlatte's formerly Crafty Space

When Cancer takes over….

Two down – four to go….. February 14, 2018

Filed under: Cancer — mintlatte @ 10:12 am

Hubby did round two of Chemo on Monday – he is tolerating it pretty darn well this time.  That said the hair is starting to go.  I guess it is fortunate that it just looks like it is thinning so it doesn’t look too patchy yet.  He hasn’t been a hat wearer for some time – so trying to find hats that he can wear at work and that will be comfortable is a bit tough.  Mainly he tends to run warm anyway – so most knit stocking caps are out – I did find some made of t-shirt material – but they are slouchy and score a no go on the wear at work front.

I was actually thinking it wouldn’t bug him to be bald – I mean a lot of guys are bald and he wears his hair really short anyway.  But when you start to think of it – it is really one of the first really outside visible signs that he has cancer.  In fact, the sudden hair loss is kind of like waving a flag and shouting it from the rooftops.  For him, this is worse than any vanity about hair – it is inviting people to question – and that is very much not his style.  Honestly – this blog is not his style – but he realizes it is mine and that we are mutually coping – so he puts up with it.

There is still some minor swelling in his lower abdomen – but it is shrinking by the day – and for that we are thankful – but I still wish beyond wishing there was someone out there who could tell me this would all be OK.

I had counted on them running his PSA levels again this week before Chemo – but the Dr. didn’t want to run them again until he has another chemo session under his belt.    I am so torn about this – in terms of husband’s anxiety – I see the point – we have physical signs this is all working – and his number was so high to begin with – I think that it may still be higher than he will be comfortable with.  Me?  I just want to see the number.  But to a large extent – while this affects both of us in huge unforeseeable ways that we discover every day – this is his – he owns it in a way that I don’t. So I find myself needing to defer and think more deeply about respecting his choices and not pushing my will onto him.  In the long run I fear I will really need this skill – and it terrifies me.  I beg the universe every single day to not let that time come ever.

In the mean time I am going to try sewing a couple of hats this weekend – and maybe look for a light weight cotton to knit something out of.  At the same time I don’t want to make these things, only because making them signifies something to me.  In a way I am only starting to accept this – and I don’t want to accept this.

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What’s New… January 5, 2018

Filed under: Cancer,Life — mintlatte @ 2:08 pm

So- what’s new right?

I am sorely lacking in craft content, I could go back over all the stuff I have done, started and not finished or maybe even the things I have though of doing, but things have been turned upside down in the world here.

My husband has been diagnosed with Stage IV Prostate cancer.  Which is about as out of the blue as it can be in your worst nightmares.  Honestly if you looked at him you wouldn’t know he was sick – other than some water retention in his lower extremities – he is fine – he feels fine, he looks fine.  But medical tests tell otherwise.  They show he has a prostate cancer that has spread to the lymph system.

This is all we know right now, it is a tiny, scary crumb that has me thrown for a loop.  I am writing not because anyone follows this – but because I am at a loss – and maybe someone else has been here in this very spot.

We will hopefully know more next week – the Docs want to discuss among themselves – a fact that is both comforting and terrifying.

Until later, keep Mr. Mintlatte in your thoughts – as I go through this I may decide to post more – but I am new at the whole caregiver thing – my husband is my person, but this will be a whole new level – and I am only now beginning to work through it all in my head.